August 01, 2006
The Lord Delivers . . . Joshua
Monday morning June 26, 2006 I was woken up at 5:30 by light contractions and began to time how far apart they were. I knew this would be the day that our 5th son would be born.
I was a little concerned about the delivery since I was bigger than I had been before, and since the Lord gave me a roomy pelvis, my baby’s tend to have shoulder alignment challenges.
Six months earlier I was afraid what could happen to this baby, or one of our children. For more than a year I felt the Lord was preparing me for a tragedy that centered around one of our children. Our second son is asthmatic, which can be fatal. Then we found out that our fourth son has a life threatening allergy to peanuts. Then there was the baby.
The ultrasound in February showed everything to be perfectly normal, but I was saddened and disappointed that is was not a girl. I was thrilled that he was developing normally, but my heart ached for a little girl. I have an incredible relationship with my mom and I desire that same relationship with my own daughter. Besides it will be harder to teach our boys how to treat a girl without a sister.
Thrilled the baby was fine yet longing for a girl, I found myself in a sort of mourning state for the next 3 days. I felt like I had lost something I didn’t even have a chance to have. I wondered if the Lord thought I wouldn’t be a good mother to a girl. My husband was very understanding and tried to encourage me as much as he could. “Ultrasounds aren’t always correct. Besides, we don’t know that this will be our last baby.” But this being our 5th and I’m the 5th born in my own family, just made it that much harder that it was not a girl. But, my husband was right as he spoke truth to my heart. We don’t know what the Lord’s plan is for us we could still have more since we will welcome as many blessed children He chooses to give us.
I could not bring myself to call this baby “he”, and the feeling of tragedy still loomed in the back of my mind. Feeling the need to talk to another woman, I spoke with a dear friend who prayed with me, encouraged me, and spoke truth to my heart. By May I was feeling less frightened, but still a bit worried about others reactions to having another boy. Mostly I was concerned about my mom’s disappointment at his birth since she would be present. I spoke to my midwife and told her the entire story about my mourning the loss of a girl, and feeling my mom would be disappointed. My midwife spoke truth to my heart and encouraged me to talk to my mom and tell her the baby was a boy so that I was free of the fear during delivery.
Fear when in labor will shut your body down and your labor can actually stop progressing. Feeling that this baby was a bit bigger than I had had before, my midwife was excellent at helping me address these fears so I would be at peace and my body would be free to birth this baby the way God intended.
My mom was wonderful, she didn’t mind that I was having another boy, she really wanted a girl for me to experience that, but a boy was fine with her. And 2 days later she shared with me that while she was praying that morning for me and my baby, the Lord impressed upon her that I needed to have another boy because of the way we are raising them. We needed to raise another Godly boy for the Kingdom. She spoke truth to my heart.
After this I felt somehow released from all the fear and concern. For the first time, with just 3-4 weeks before my baby was due, I was excited to have another boy for the Lord. My husband, my friend, my midwife, and my mom all spoke truth to my heart that overwhelmed the fear. When I was the most fearful, I was not in the Word like I should have been. As others spoke truth to me and I was back reading the truths of the Bible the last 2 months of my pregnancy the fear subsided.
As my labor progressed that day, my good friend Maureen was with me. This was only arranged 2½ weeks previously. She had never been at or seen a home birth before and didn’t know what to expect. Feeling unprepared she prayed on the way to our home that the Lord would use her however He needed to. She spoke truth to my heart as the Lord impressed it upon her, again washing any doubt and fear away.
At 11:15am my midwife and her assistant showed up. When she checked me I was 8-9cm dilated. I really wanted to get into my pool of water where it was more comfortable for me. Knowing this would speed up my labor even more, I was ready to push soon after I got in the water. From the beginning it seemed like intense pushing. Usually my midwife instructs me to push gently so that the perineum can stretch without tearing, but something was different. Once his head came out, I was out of energy. I felt like I had ran a marathon at full sprint but was only 1/3 the way to the finish line.
My midwife instructed me to flip over on my knees in the pool. I still could not push. She needed me out of the pool so she could see how he was lining up. As I lay on the floor, she firmly instructed me to push. I knew by the intensity of her voice I needed to push as hard as I could – but my strength was gone and every muscle ached.
Through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, Maureen leaned over and put her hand on my belly and said, “In the name of Jesus I command this baby to come out, in the name of Jesus. Lord, give her the strength to push this baby out.” My husband later said it was like the Holy Spirit gave me a jump-start. After 2 pushes his shoulders came out one at a time. Then the biggest push of all brought the rest of him, 15” around, into the world.
He was pink, he was wiggly, and after about 15 seconds he cried. The most wonderful cry I had ever heard. The Lord delivered this baby because I had not the strength. Joshua Quentin was born 10 pounds 10 ounces and 23 inches long. His head was 13 3/4" but his chest was 15 ". It's no wonder I needed the Lord's help.
As I reflected the next few days on his birth, and all the fear I felt before hand, the Lord impressed on my heart that it was not him who had tried to prepare me for a tragedy, but Satan. And as I thought about what took my fear away, it was truth. Truth of the Lord being my stronghold, my strength, my protector. Truth spoken to me by my husband and friends. Then I felt such a fool for being deceived so seemingly easily. Subtle deception is a game that Satan is very good at, and has been from the beginning.
I’m not saying the Lord couldn’t prepare us for hard times because He most certainly could. But now I am more aware to ask the question of truth. Is what I feel the Lord saying to me based in truth, and have I prayed for confirmation? This will become a standard practice so I may better recognize deception from the enemy.
I thank the Lord for teaching me, and delivering me and Joshua from the evil one.
Posted by Vanessa at 01:25 AM | Comments (3)