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October 03, 2005
Trusting God with Marriage
Encounter 2005 was very good this year. I particularly enjoyed the Q/A time at the end. I thought it addressed real issues and heart felt needs. During the Q/A time, I watched an exchange of thoughts between Tim and Nathan that I thought was interesting.
Tim was saying that if we can trust the Lord with our Salvation, something dealing with our soul, unseen and quite significant, then we should be able to trust Him with our future spouse. Saying that we need not get worried, anxious or fret the decision. Nathan basically said, "That sounds fine in theory, but how do you actually go about that."
I thought I would elaborate on Nathan's question....
In one sense, I think trusting the Lord for salvation is quite a bit easier. I can say this for one primary reason: I have a Bible, I have a verse, I have a promise. For example: "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9 NIV) "Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life" (John 3:15 NIV)
Having read the Bible at least four times cover to cover, I can quite safely say that no verse exists that says, "Joe Smith [or any one at Encounter] will be married on such and such a date."
I think this is the heart of Nathan's question. On what basis do I form the trust? I was pondering that question this morning. I think at this point, lacking a clear and direct promise, the trust placed in the Lord is based upon experiential trust. But if there was thing pointed out in the questions asked about pain and later about marriage, the one thing that seems the most damaged to me in the hearts/minds of the saints at Encounter, was the experiential trust people have in the Lord.
And in my understanding of what was said during the Q/A, the older/wiser and longer we stay with the Lord, the more we know His goodness but that also means [in my thinking], the longer it takes us to actually form that experiential trust.
So the real question I think should be, "How do I trust God with my marriage (something close and dear to my heart) when I have no direct promise that it will happen? On what basis is the trust formed, what do I do when things look like my trust has been violated?"
I have more thoughts on the matter, but time presses me to get to work. :( Needless to say, I think some of Pat's thoughts about having incorrect expectation apply. But I am interested how we do actually bridge the 'theory gap' here, as Nathan called it.
Posted by mtriley at October 3, 2005 06:31 AM
Comments
Ya, I think we need to meld Tim's thoughts and Pat (Sokoll)'s thoughts here. Tim said that we need to trust God for marriage. That is, trust God that if he has it for you to be married, you will be, and it will be great. But if he doesn't have that for you, you won't be, and it will be great.
It seems from my reading of the NT that Jesus and Paul both though we would be better off not marrying , and that getting married is sort of a concession :) (okay, so that's not entirely true. but is fun to state to play the "devil's advocate" in this discussion...) so in that sense, those of us who are married have chosen the weaker path :)
I thought Sokoll's earlier comment about chocolate (listen to the recordings if you don't know what I'm talking about here...) apply.
Nathan's question was also a very astute one. "So I'm trusting God for marriage... what does that look like??"
Posted by: Matt Heerema at October 3, 2005 09:42 AM
Yikes, the question "trusting God for marrage" scares me. I think you make a good point that there are no verses saying, you will marry this person on this date. There is not a single promise in the Bible saying that an individual person is meant to be married. How can we trust God for something He has not promised us? I think that trusting that "someday God will bring along that special person and that I will be married" is mistrusting God.
Us single folks need to realize that we can't trust God FOR marraige, but need to trust Him FOR OUR LIFE. Some of us may never be married. But God by his very nature is good. We shouldn't ever doubt that, and can completely place our trust in that. That if God is good and we are in Christ, He has good things stored up for us. Psalm 84:11 This may include marraige, and it may not. But whatever it does include, it will be GOOD.
Posted by: Mike at October 3, 2005 12:19 PM
hopefully my last comment doesn't come across the wrong way. I sometimes see people though trusting God for things He hasn't promised them. by the way, good thoughts guys
Posted by: Mike at October 3, 2005 12:25 PM
Yeah - trust that God wants the best for us and will provide accordingly - which may or may not include a spouse.
Nathan's comment/question was really more looking for 'practicals'... I'm trusting God to provide the best for me, and, if that's a spouse, what is that going to look like?
It just goes to show that Matt, Pat, and two Meyer brothers should never be allowed behind the same sound board.
Posted by: Pat at October 3, 2005 05:22 PM
I've had to trust God AFTER marriage. :)
Posted by: Dan at October 3, 2005 08:18 PM
If you have to experience it before you believe it, then there is no need for faith.
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29
I don't know what Bible you guys are reading, but I have yet to find one that has a promise with my name written in it. Rather, I write my name into the promises as I trust in the goodness and power of God to fulfill it.
This woudl include such things as salvation (John 5:24), food and clothing (Matt. 6:33), my genuine needs (II Cor. 9:8), and all things good (Romans 8:32).
Now the question is, is a wife a good thing?Proverbs 18:22 and 19:14 seem to say so.
Personally, I held onto Psalm 84:11, 12 for this area of my life. My focus, though, wasn't on getting married as much as a man worthy of receiving the promise of a good thing. That promise was hinged on me being a man that "trusts in you". If my hope and trust is in a wife or marriage, then it is seriously misplaced. In fact, I would suggest that marriage becomes an idol at that point and God will withhold it from you, for it would not be good for God to lead you into the sin of idolatry.
Posted by: Tim at October 5, 2005 10:45 AM
I just want to take some money! :)
Press here
Posted by: Unwiffteate at October 1, 2008 07:19 PM