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Our luck with transmissions, as anyone close to us could vouch for, is not exactly good. We’ve had five vehicles since we’ve been married and four of them have had transmission problems...the first car was not worth fixing, but the other two we replaced the transmissions ourselves with help from loyal, mechanically-inclined friends. (Thanks Scott & Jeremy!) So needless to say, we have been pleasantly surprised by the year and a half the Eagle has held up for us. And the heater core...well, let’s just say as soon as outdoor temperatures reach levels which would necessitate the use of air conditioning, we would be left uncomfortable. So spring was the goal of the vehicle upgrade. Unfortunately, everyone and their cat likes to shop for cars in the spring. So we decided we’d beat the rush and start looking now.

So right after New Year’s we started surfing AutoTrader and Ebay and the local car lots. We had narrowed our search to a specific make, model, year, engine specification, price, interior color, and exterior color. That’s right, we knew what we were looking for. And on February 1st, our dream car appeared on AutoTrader. Now, I must say, it was only missing one thing...but we were willing to compromise considering that it had everything else we were looking for. So after a few phone calls to the dealer we decided we should go for it. We got our affairs in order and prepared to drive the next day to the windy city of Chicago where the car was located. Now, I never did blog about our last trip home from Chicago after Christmas...that’s going to have to be another day. But I’ll sum it up with this: Eagle randomly shuts off engine due to sensor malfunction on I-80 while returning home from the Chicago airport during biggest snow storm of the year at ten o’clock at night 120 miles away from home after being on vacation for eight days and Matt and Nancy and Joe Abdo had to come rescue us at 1am. So here we go, taking the same car back to Chicago. But this time we had a good luck charm with us...Pat Blair.

So after leaving an hour late (because Miss Pregnant was hungry...a very good reason, I might add) and missing I-88 and going about 45 minutes out of our way, the boys navigated us to the dealer before they closed. And there was the car...a 1996 Nissan Maxima GXE in champagne color with champagne cloth interior and with 79K miles on its V6 engine for over $1,000 under book value. So if your curiosity still has the best of you, the one thing it did not have was that it was not the SE model...but we figured we could add our own spoiler and rims. :)

The dealership looked a bit shady at first, but after talking with them for over an hour we could tell they weren’t trying to pull anything on us...at least not too much...I mean, they were trying to sell us a car. So after our business was conducted we drove away in our new car and left the old hunk of metal behind. Ahhhh, that was nice. So now we were hungry. We had asked where the closest sit-down restaurants were, but we still drove around for 20 minutes until we found something we could all agree on (ok, this was mostly Miss Pregnant’s fault again). So we had a wonderful meal at Chili’s and we were on the road by 8:30pm. This time, we found I-88 and headed out of town...with a half tank of gas. Why are some of you chuckling? Most likely because you know that there are maybe two gas stations on I-88 for the two hours it takes to get to the Iowa border. Luckily, we made it to the second one around 10:00...well, we came within a quarter mile of it anyways. We got off of the exit and as we turned to go up and over the interstate to the gas station, the remaining gas in the tank must have swished around just enough for the car to die. I guess we now know how far we can, or can’t, push it on E.

We just can’t get away from car trouble I tell you...so much for the Pat Blair good luck charm. Apparently the Powers curse won this battle. I suppose running out of gas is still better than a sensor malfunction...so maybe I should take that back. Except that running out of gas is more of an operator problem than a vehicle malfunction, and therefore not exactly luck, but I won’t go there either. At this point Dave decided to jog over and get some gas. So we sent him with a flashlight and his cell phone...except that we couldn’t find his cell phone. Great. More bad luck. Not that we were surprised. So he went without and we scoured the car for his phone while he was gone. It still hasn’t turned up. We are completely clueless as to where it could be. We called the dealer and it’s not in the car. We’ve called Verizon and no one has made any illegitimate calls on it. We know he had it on the way there because I had to dig it out of his bag when it was ringing. So we apologize for anyone who has tried to reach Dave on his cell since Feb. 1st. He’s got another one on it’s way in the mail...it should be here today.

Anyway, to wrap up this adventure...we made it home without any other troubles. Although it was 3am...the same time we made it home the last time we drove home from Chicago. The moral of the story? A road trip is just asking for God show his sense of humor through you.

So we get to the vet and they all need their weight checked. Samson goes first...11.4 pounds...not bad for having starved for the past 2 1/2 weeks. That's only about 1.5 pounds shy of the last time he was at the vet. Next is LJ's turn...14.4...yeah, he's a big boy. He's not fat, he's just "big and tall." Then Delilah...11.0...she's a bit chunky for her petite frame. We had to switch the food we were getting to the indoor formula because of her. And so, I'm still holding LJ while Dave is helping weigh Delilah when He starts really squirming...not unusual...I just held him a bit tighter. Next thing I know, I hear a very familiar water-like sound...like a shower...and then I smell it...yes, it's urine...it's running down the right arm of my brand new coat and on to the floor and splattering onto my suede shoes. I thought briefly about being embarrassed, but that is a feeling that has been trained out of me for quite some years...I think it happened shortly after I met Dave. Anyway, so apparently I forgot to ask if anyone had to go to the bathroom before we left the house. All I could do was stand in amazement as he continued to empty his bladder on my arm. The vet assistants just laughed and offered me some paper towels.

Luckily the rest of the visit went by without much drama. A little hissing, a shot, a little poking and prodding and 45 minutes later we were on our way home. I don't think we heard a peep out of any of them all the way home. Well, time to wash my coat.

LJ, our big black scaredy-cat, was hit two weeks later, but he managed to come out of it with only a broken jaw. And he brought home with him some lovely vet bills from being at the animal hospital for three days. He’s pretty much walking money now. He doesn’t get the privilege of going outside anymore. Of course, neither do the other two now either...

On Monday January 10th, I came home from work and I let Samson and Delilah outside cuz they were very restless and I thought it would do them some good to go outside and burn off some steam. Delilah wanted out desperately but Samson I actually had to shove out the door. But since it has been cold, they usually don’t stay out more than an hour or two. An hour and a half later, Delilah came back...Samson never came home. We scoured the neighborhood by foot calling for him the next few days, but didn’t find him. We knocked on the neighbors’ doors and checked their garages. We left a bowl of food out in our garage with the door open and the light on in case he came home. We called the Animal Shelter and listed him as MIA and they suggested putting the litter box outside cuz apparently cats can smell that from a distance and if they’re just lost they can smell that and find their way home. We also made posters and Dave and I walked through the neighborhood and put them in people’s doors one afternoon when it was zero degrees without the wind chill. But no luck. But I never quit praying everyday that God would bring him home. I figured even if he was dead and frozen somewhere that God could bring him back to life if He wanted to...He can do whatever He wants, right?

So on Thursday January 27th, I had just gotten home from work and sat down on the couch with some dinner and my Bible. I had no more than eaten two bites when I heard very familiar frantic cries just outside the front door. I ran to the door and threw it open and in runs Samson! I could hardly believe it! It had been 2 ½ weeks since he’d been home and it had been below zero temperatures for half of that time, and here he was alive and well...albeit VERY skinny! But he was happy to be home...he immediately rubbed against my legs and the couch and the table and floors and the walls…and then went for the food bowls! By this time I was half crying and half dumbfounded and speechless. All I could do was “hug him and squeeze him and love him to pieces.” It has been wonderfully happy to look at him and continue to be amazed that he is back. We are very thankful that God had a happy ending for our furry buddy’s adventures.

On to other news…although our kitties have been our “children” for the past several years, they will have to start taking their rightful place as pets starting the end of July when our first-born arrives. Yes…we are going to be parents. Scary huh? We’re very excited and nervous and scared and happy all at the same time. I’ve been feeling better the last few weeks now that I am officially in the second trimester this week, so now I’m beginning to be more happy and excited now that I can function a bit more normally. We were able to tell all of our families personally over Christmas break...it was interesting to see everyone’s different reactions. And we got to see the baby move around via an ultrasound about three weeks ago and that kind of cemented in our minds that there really was a baby in there. Up until that point, I was just sick annoyingly sick for a month.

So we’ll try to post any new updates as we can. Now that the holidays and my sickness are over, I think I will be able to go back to some sort of normalcy for a few months. And yes, I know...we’ll try to enjoy it while it lasts.

I missed his paws grabbing for my feet from under the bed while I was putting my shoes and socks on this morning. I missed him waking me up by laying across my neck this morning and purring loudly. And I could never just hear him purr, I could feel him purr. I missed his chipper meow that greeted me just yesterday, and every day before that, the second I opened the door as if to say ³Hi! It¹s about time you got home!² He loved being outside though. He liked to eat bugs and chase the leaves as they blew around. He also liked to roll in this one little dirt patch in my flower garden because the dirt was soft and powdery. He never bothered the flowers though. He was such a good boy. He rarely did anything obnoxious, except maybe be playful when we weren¹t in the mood. I taught him how to play Hide & Seek in the house. I would run and hide in a room, and he would come creeping down the hall to find me. And when I would see him start to come in the room, I would leap out at him and wrestle with him and growl at him for a second before I would run again to another room and do it all over again...it wouldn¹t stop until I ran out of breath...which wasn¹t very long! Why God? Why did you take him from us so soon? He was so young...just a baby still.

I just can't think of anything worse right now...other than losing a family member. But he was a member of our family and it just won't be the same for a long time. He was the spunk of the clan...he was my cuddle buddy in the mornings...and it was his meow and purr and extra soft fur that I looked forward to when I walked in the door each day after work. Now when I walk in alone there is no one who greets me. It'll just take some time to get used to him being gone. Our house will not be the same without him. The other cats realize he¹s gone, but they don¹t understand that he¹s not coming back. Delilah misses you the most buddy, believe it or not!

He was my baby right now, and that makes it even harder because I was so attached. I just wish I knew what the point was. I know God doesn't allow pain without reason. But I still don¹t understand. Why now? Why was his life so short? He had so much yet to experience. I¹ll never know what he would have looked like full-grown. Never get to touch his soft fur again. I¹ll never get to truly say good-bye to him. All I have now is pictures and memories. And I'm not ready to say good-bye yet. So I'm not going to.

I miss you so much buddy. I miss my "little boy".

I know, more Oswald. But if this isn't encouraging when you're discouraged, I don't know what else would be. It's motivating to me to know that if I can just persevere through the difficult stuff, that I'll be able to look back and see what God has taught me.

I don't think that I'm necessarily discouraged right now...although I easily could be with everything that's going on...but I just thought I'd share this with everyone. Hopefully it will encourage someone.

Also something I've been pondering...change is something that most humans don't like, and yet some of the best things come from change. We have to assume that where we are right now is as good as it gets in order to not desire change. And yet how many times do we complain about our current circumstances and then turn around and resist change? Do we trust that God has our best in mind? Apparently not. Otherwise we would welcome change. I realize that not all change seems to be for the better in our eyes, but God's looking at the process of life, not where we are at the end. So sometimes the process of the change is the point, not necessarily where the change will leave us afterwards.

On to my topic...on Wednesday I read My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I liked it so much I was going to type out the whole thing and post it, but I googled it and found the whole devotional online, so here it is. (Also as promised to my lifegroup girls!) It¹s the first of a three day series, so if you want to read the rest of them, you can check it out online. His stuff is difficult to read sometimes because of the language and how descriptive he is. I usually have to read sentences two or three times just to figure out what he¹s saying. But once you figure it out, it¹s so deep and descriptive that you don¹t know how else to describe what he¹s saying and still convey the details of it...that¹s why I¹m just posting the whole thing, so this entry is probably going to be kind of long. Also, the verse references were from the online version, but I left them there in case anyone wants to look them up.

Oct. 5th The Nature of Degeneration
Just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men,
because all sinned . . .
‹Romans 5:12

The Bible does not say that God punished the human race for one man¹s sin, but that the nature of sin, namely, my claim to my right to myself, entered into the human race through one man. But it also says that another Man took upon Himself the sin of the human race and put it away‹an infinitely more profound revelation (see Hebrews 9:26). The nature of sin is not immorality and wrongdoing, but the nature of self-realization which leads us to say, "I am my own god." This nature may exhibit itself in proper morality or in improper immorality, but it always has a common basis‹my claim to my right to myself. When our Lord faced either people with all the forces of evil in them, or people who were clean-living, moral, and upright, He paid no attention to the moral degradation of one, nor any attention to the moral attainment of the other. He looked at something we do not see, namely, the nature of man (see John 2:25).

Sin is something I am born with and cannot touch‹only God touches sin through redemption. It is through the Cross of Christ that God redeemed the entire human race from the possibility of damnation through the heredity of sin. God nowhere holds a person responsible for having the heredity of sin, and does not condemn anyone because of it. Condemnation comes when I realize that Jesus Christ came to deliver me from this heredity of sin, and yet I refuse to let Him do so. From that moment I begin to get the seal of damnation. "This is the condemnation [and the critical moment], that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light . . . " (John 3:19).

So my thoughts were: How have I gone through eight years of being a Christian and I never truly understood the difference between sin and sinful nature? Well, I think I knew, but I¹ve never thought about it or been able to describe it like Chambers did here. It puts the emphasis on dying to myself, or letting go of ³my claim to my right to myself², rather than on doing good. Not that that¹s not importantŠit¹s just that that¹s not our problem. Our problem is not that we sin, it is that we are sinful. And we cannot do anything about that. Only God canŠand has. We have no claim to ourselves even though we think we do. That is our problem. America is all about our rightsŠbut I think we take that into our relationship with God and think that we deserve things from Him or that we have some right to a comfortable life. God never promised that, in fact he promised the opposite.

Ok, I think this is long enoughŠI could keep going, but I¹ll let others share their thoughtsŠassuming that there are others out there...

So if I am aware that I'm stupid, then I'm actually wise, because I'm admitting the cold, hard truth...I know nothing compared to God...and never will no matter how edumacated I get. (Yes, I meant to spell it that way.)

Just like when I laugh at my cat for thinking he can get outside if he climbs the screen door with his claws. He really thinks it's helping his cause, getting him closer to his goal, but really it just makes me mad. And if he just knew that he has a vet appointment tomorrow morning to be neutered and that I will gladly open the door for him after that, he probably wouldn't waste his efforts. But no, he is stupid. Kinda makes me wonder what I look like when I try to do things before God's time. Eek. And maybe a better question...what will tomorrow bring?

James 3:13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

Well, I thought things would get better this fall when Dave started classes and wasn't working 50 hours a week. Mm, no. I was deceived. Things went from busy, to busier, to chaos. But it only lasted a month. Now we're back to busy again. I can appreciate it now for what it is...not chaos. I can deal with that. I think God just wanted me to appreciate things for what they are and not wish for the greener grass on the other side of the calendar. It's just a mirage anyway. I'll always be "busy" so I should just accept it and learn how to relax in the midst of it. I think I'm starting to figure out how to do that...just a little. Good thing this life is one big class...we're all learning how to be more like Him, we have lots of homework and quizzes in between, but the final is more like a pop-quiz...you never know when it will be.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I hope that most of you have heard about one of the saddest, and personally to me, one of the the most angering stories in a long time. If not read here. A young, engaged devout Christian couple was sleeping on a beach in northern California, when someone simply came up and shot both of them once in the head, killing them instantly. The authorities are following up one lead, and local townspeople (all 100 of them, being that it happened near a tiny coastal town) are scared and utterly confused. This couple were less than a month away from their wedding (Sept. 11th, same day as Robert & Jessica), had absolutely no known enemies, and were by all accounts, hard-core believers with a passion to reach young people.

When I think about this, righteous fury rises up inside me like a storm. I wish that the bastard (I'm not using this word lightly, sorry if any of you are offended) who did this is found, and justice is served. I realize that God will right all wrongs, and that someday every sin will be paid for, but still, a part of me wants to make this person pay for what he took away, that can never be returned....

It seems like most people, including us, want to think of God as loving, gracious and merciful, which He is, to an extent that none of us will grasp, but we forget that He is also full of justice, and very angry at sin. We can only thank him that our sin is covered, and that His wrath has been turned away from us. I realize also that we are all sinners ourselves and deserve God's wrath as much as any man, and that we should feel compassion for this person and pray that he finds God, but I, at least right now, can't do that, or maybe just really don't want to. I want to hate. I know that it is wrong, but when I hear about things like that, it's the first thing that I feel.

I was reading a recent article about Las Vegas in Time magazine (only part of it, since most of it was a report on filth) and it saddened me and reminded me that God hates sin, and that someday He will finally have had enough, and will come back and wipe out, utterly destroying what he hates. The other thing that saddened me as well, is that I realized that I really don't hate sin like He does, that I like to keep it within arms reach. Oh that I would see sin, the world, and my flesh as it truly is.

Just a little rambling....

Something I've heard come up several times before is a concern that people sometimes feel like projects when we are reaching out to them. What are we doing wrong? Are they just over-sensitive? I don't think they are...no one wants to be a project. They just want someone to enjoy their company and have genuine concern for their well-being...otherwise known as a friend. Do we as evangelical Christians do this very well overall? Are we out of focus somewhere, maybe from this culture, in that we feel the need to be productive more than we see the need for true friendship? I realize that at some point, if we are in a discipleship relationship someone we do have the responsibility to help lead them and in turn them with us. Is that where the project conception comes from? Or is it just a misconception on their part in that they view our trying to help them as getting involved where we shouldn't, and therefore feeling like a project being manipulated? And if so, how do you explain that? Because you have to wonder how the 12 felt as they followed Jesus around. I doubt they felt like projects, and even if they did, would they have viewed it as a bad thing? I'm sure that's not a fair comparison...I mean, they were being discipled by Jesus! It's the best example of that relationship we have. So maybe Paul and Timothy would be better.

Also the topic of productivity brings up a few other questions I've been thinking about...sometimes it seems as though we are all so busy doing our own things, that we don't have time to help out someone who really has something they need help with. I know I have a lot of things I'm working on at home right now, and sometimes I find myself hoping that no one else needs anything because then I might not get my stuff done. Now, I won't go so far as to say that being busy is bad, because sometimes its necessary and sometimes God calls us to do a lot. But I have felt God calling me to be more available. I don't know what that means at this point, but I think it at least means that I will be carefully scrutinizing my schedule this fall in order to ensure that there will be ample enough time to do what God is asking me to do, as well as keep my sanity. I know myself well enough to know that I am not capable of doing lots of things very well at once. Basically, when I get spread too thin, I wig out. :)

Anyway, I don't expect answers to these questions right away...I'm sure God will continue to teach me these things as I go. But I just thought I'd share what I've been thinking about to see if God has brought this up with anyone else recently too.

I wish I could talk about something I've been pondering, but I don't do that much...but I think I've already mentioned that. I should just come up with a random topic to talk about like everyone else and see how many comments I get. Hmm...I'm not very random either so this could be difficult. How about toes? Everybody has different sized toes. Some people have a smaller big toe and then the one next to it looks huge. Others have pinky toes that curl in. Hm. Ok, that's definitely NOT something I want to know a lot about.

How about...what would you do if you had a whole day off with nothing planned? I know...that doesn't seem possible. Instead of going on vacation this summer, I have been taking random days off. But it's easy to just sleep in and then not do much that day so I'd like to have some ideas so we can plan something ahead of time...so anybody have any fun ideas? I don't like going very far. There's lots of things in Ames and within an hour or two of Ames that are fun...I just forget about them most of the time.

Reason 1. I want to steal black guys (and any Jews) sweet rides and especially their buttaliscious bass cd's all the while leaving them in jail on the taxpayers dime

Reason 2. Viciously put down student insurrections with tear gas, mace and hopefully rubber bullets next year, heck, I may push for city funding to build the Swinton Riot Control Vehicle.

Reason 3. I be packin! (and bustin caps!)

Reason 4. Form a secret arm of the Ames Police that actually subverts and attempts to destroy any good relations between students and police. (assaninations, "party busts", and the like)

Reason 5. To eventually create a police state that will call for people to be shot on sight for: public urination, indecent exposure, operating a motor vehicle while being a stupid person, and for overall looking or acting like a member of the greek system.

Reason 6. To accidentally shoot, and kill, players of opposing football teams during games, especially Iowa, Kansas State and Oklahoma.

This is only the beginning....