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October 29, 2004
OK OK the answer
I spent over an hour at the hospital today so that they would refer me to a new oncologist. Then I had to sign my life away so that they would send my medical records down here from Minneapolis. I love healthcare in our world. From what I hear it's way better here then anywhere else. Well, except while I was waiting...
A guy came into the clinic saying that he had just been in a car accident and he wanted someone to "check him out". The lady at the frount desk took his name and then told him that if he didn't pay $231.24 that they couldn't see him. He turned disgustedly and walked out as she told him to go to hte emergency room "if he was really hurtin'".
I must admit that I really don't like hospitals... and I've been in a lot of them.
Oh right...
I left a big clue out there that no one seemed to get. I said:
"If you count backwards from three you'll find the man behind the curtain."
The idea was that you would go bakc over the last three entries to "Soulmate or Checkmate" (the one that no one commented on) in the extended entry I added: "You know all three of these characters and you know the 'apartment' where they live."
Getting anywhere...?
I wrote the three entries about myself. Each one lives somewhere inside my head (the apartment building) and cotributes to who I am. I tried to break down who I was into more basic components and this is where I ended up.
It started with the Jester (orginally titled the Entertainer but to avoid any confusion with a certian piano piece, movies or anything I changed it). I see this attention grabbing spotlight loving persona that emerges now and then. It's truely odd because I am an introvert that usually enjoys the company of a few to a multitude.
Then came the Driven and the Passionate more reactions to the isolation of the Jester then of anything else.
Anyway that's the short version...
Is everything clear? Still don't get it?
Right and thanks to the 134 people who commented on the last post. Only 10 of you made it (so far) to the public but hey there is always next time. If you want to actually get on this site try not advertising debt relief, online casino's, or diet patches then you might have a better chance... :)
Posted by paul at 07:20 PM | Comments (1)
October 25, 2004
Hints and Tips for Parts 1, 2 and 3
Obviously the last three posts are about three characters and how they react to a similar time period and base environment in an effort to showcase their differences.
Each of the three personalities has a distinguishing statement at the end of every second paragraph.
But you already knew that.
How can I lead you through this “building” of thought I have constructed without turning on all the lights and revealing one, er I mean all?
I cannot recommend the movie that Mike alluded to but his connection was, though unexpected and unintended, brilliant.
Give it a little thought and I hope that it will come to you. Oh and Pat was thinking about it a little to deeply or spiritually or something like that.
Have fun!
Figure it out yet? Sorry the answer isn't here... yet.
NEW:
Here is the hint that I put up on PlanetRockisu:
"Always remember, if you count backwards from three you'll find the man behind the curtain."
Posted by paul at 07:01 PM | Comments (10)
October 22, 2004
Part 3 of 3 – The Passionate
A dominant picture of a mountain range under a thunderstorm spreads powerfully over the apartments’ main wall. The furniture is meant not to be noticed and the mood evokes the ability to change. In one corner is the nearest an apartment can get to a real fireplace. Above all visual access to the 17th floor windows is paramount to the organization of furnishings. The dwelling is situated such that the suns’ rising in the morning coats the interior with a blinding golden light while the sunset is reflected in similar glory from the tall glass-covered office building across the street. Equal access of the apartment is given to the suns’ recurrent changing of the guard.
He leans forward in his chair frantically scripting his latest thoughts. Brushing the hair from his forehead carelessly, he bites the skin on his first finger. Compelling surging music envelopes the room in a wall of sound. He passionately pens his ideals in a leather bound journal. His dreams are the stuff that reality is made of.
A knock on the door brings in a close friend. Hunkering down over a tasty meal talk quickly turns from banal small talk to that of swimming against the tide and revolution. Enthusiasm rises almost concurrently with the light from the setting sun. Matters of the heart explode on the scene with fire and incredible strength of will. Both parties exhort each other to more action and bigger dreams. His worn t-shirt tightens as a massive hand gesture solidifies his final point. The phone rings unheeded the four times required for the answering machine to switch on recording the callers’ request.
Striking hands in a pledge the benevolent conspirators part company long after the reflected horizon has forgotten the sun. In reluctance to let another day finish but grateful for the hope of an inconceivable tomorrow he traces a few closing memoirs in his journal. He faithfully winds his antique clock and shuts off the fireplace the walls reflecting the surplus light of its glowing metal. Sleep comes quickly with adventurous dreams of saving the world.
Posted by paul at 07:45 PM | Comments (4)
October 21, 2004
Part 2 of 3 – The Jester
The first floor apartment is active and moving. Sound and light leak out of the windows and through the almost always-open door. The furniture and ambiance calm and say "stay just awhile longer". Air is always moving blowing delicious scents from the kitchen making everything feel vibrant and animated. Bright colors and splashes of light dominate the comfortable setting. It is alive.
The center of attention is also the creator of the joyous melee and the apartment owner; who dashes back and forth before his guests entertaining all with brash humor, sincere interest and compelling tales. His sombrero flops up and down as he laughs while the little red balls hanging from the brim quiver with amusing animation. Everyone feels at ease.
Pizzas are rushed from the oven to waiting mouths. The whole group in succession cries in pain as hot cheese, meat and vegetables sear the roof of their mouths. All rush to their cups to cool their smoldering palettes. The phone rings frantically several times before the host appears and answers, plunging a finger into the opposite ear. “Just come over, we can talk about it here”; is the ready answer. He then jumps back to the music, his loud Hawaiian shirt billowing with his glancing movements.
The evening ages and one by one guests must regrettably take their leave. Much too late the last socialite waves their goodbye and closes the door. With a contented sigh music is turned off and lights are dimmed while the remains of the gathering are left in their places to be washed and picked up only before the next time they will be needed. The day has completely expired and the comical clock proclaims the next to have started when he lands on a couch. Caffeine and sugar riddled, it takes him over an hour to finally enter a light sleep filled with airy dreams.
Posted by paul at 07:23 PM | Comments (6)
October 20, 2004
Part 1 of 3 – The Driven
He sits alone is his apartment high up on the twenty-third floor. The dwelling is small and spartan emphasizing functionality, economy, and above all focus. The temperature is exactly sixty-seven degrees all year around. All of the surfaces from the counters and bookshelves, to the sparse sitting chairs and bed are almost completely un-textured, ergonomically designed and neutral in color. It is immaculate.
He sits motionless under a glaring white floor lamp buried in a large technical volume. Small glasses clamp onto his face. With a cultured practiced move he smoothes his military haircut. He knows what he wants.
He stands over the stove at attention concisely chewing his healthy nightly portion. The phone rings so he strategically empties his mouth of food and answers it giving the caller his full name. The conversation is quick, pointed and all business. He emotionlessly takes notes with a black ballpoint pen on a white legal pad only to transfer them after the call ends to his laptop filing it under the day and time in the appropriate folder. He moves back to the counter almost noiselessly with his white shirt and grey pants moving seamlessly along with all of his refined movements.
Dinner is finished as the digital clock is checked with satisfaction. His body is finely tuned through daily physical exercise. His third assignment of the night is emailing reminders to his subordinates their weekly tasks. When the hour hits the lights on timer dim and he descends into bed almost immediately dropping into a dreamless sleep.
Posted by paul at 07:44 PM | Comments (6)
October 19, 2004
Soul Mate or Check Mate
Everyone is talking about Napoleon Dynamite. Everyone is quoting the frustrated social outcast and the rare people in his life. It’s funny.
But in light of the incredibly painful yet honest story shared at church last Sunday by two people who really should have been divorced 10 times over for the crimes that they committed against one another I see a deeper message. The cry to be loved, for companionship, for a soul mate.
Steve and Sarah Wilson are together because God put them together. Not only did he put them together originally when they were first married he has put them back together everyday since.
That is what a true soul mate is. Someone that God puts you with to spend the rest of your life with for good and bad. To sharpen you and help you at the same time.
Mark Darling says that marriage is all about dieing. You have to get up everyday and die. Die to your own wishes, your own wants and your own desires. If both soul mates do that. If they both put God first in their own personal lives. The world will be amazed at the results.
I just wanted to hide another hint back here.
You know all three of these characters and you know the "apartment" where they live.
Posted by paul at 03:34 PM | Comments (0)
October 15, 2004
A Black and White Stance in a Grey World
This is the very fact that will shock and amaze you. This is the premise of my entry today and one that deserves a close look. Are you ready?
There is absolute truth out there. In all instances of morality, human behavior, and ethics there is a right and a wrong. I know… hard to believe that there actually is something like that out there. Just like in the old movies where the good guys wore the white cowboy hats and the bad guys wore the black ones. There is a good and evil, always. Just like there is God and Satan.
Satan repeatedly tries to dismiss any belief in him at all. He also works around the idea that there is ultimate evil or even a little evil. We are taught that humans are mostly good and right. Everyone is good. Everyone’s ideas are equally valid, even on topics such as ethics and morality. Except of course a few extremes that we all consider to be distasteful, especially when they are thrust into our face.
Murder is wrong. Killing another human being is definitely out. It tops the list for crimes that people agree on right? Well I guess it’s ok if the other person asks you to do it because they are really sick. Or if the other person is really inconveniencing you like living inside your womb or if that person was placed there as a result of rape then well hey kill ‘em.
The world pushes grey on us all day every day. They tell us that the homosexual agenda is just like the civil rights movement. That people are being treated unfairly and that is why we should change. They move abortion, euthanasia, homosexuality and vegetarianism into the main stream so that we will slowly get used to it and then final sit back and say “fine I guess that ok, it falls into that grey area that I am not so sure about and I guess since it’ all right for them then they can do it.”
We as Christians in this grey world must develop black and white opinions on these and other controversial issues so that when others fall prey to a world that says “just do what feels right” we can stand up and say no because we have a firm grasp on the absolute truth.
Our source of truth? God’s word.
Ok maybe vegetarianism isn’t all that bad. But only for medical purposes! :)
Posted by paul at 09:02 PM | Comments (4)
October 12, 2004
Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore!
Work. I feel like I work 14 hour days 6 days a week. I know its not true but it feels that way.
I want to break, I want to break my, I want to break my rusty cage... and run.
Posted by paul at 03:23 PM | Comments (3)
October 08, 2004
What is it That You Want?
Find out what you want and then give everything that you have to obtain it.
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot
Tim wants to share the gospel and teach others to do the same. He is passionate about it. He is also passionate about the origins of the earth. He gives his life to these things.
Matt wants to be a student of our every changing culture, I think...
What do I want?
Not quite sure... give me a minute.
I want to be humble. I want to have the character and repuation to have God use me in whatever way he wants to. Leadership. Evangelism. Teaching. Speaking. Worshiping.
I am not sure yet.
What do you want?
Posted by paul at 11:02 PM | Comments (8)
Together
he says phoenix
pegasus
grecian urn
midwest turn
so much to learn
together
she says our souls
are warm
lives
reborn
from hearts
that were torn
before before perform performs
together
together they say
a breath renewed
everyday
with you
our arms
are moved
we are not alone
not unloved
together
our souls are warm
lives reborn
from hearts that were torn
before
breath renewed
everyday with you
our arms our hold
we are not alone
together
we're ready.
________________________________
by William Shatner - Has Been
Rough transcript by me.
Posted by paul at 09:10 AM | Comments (1)
October 07, 2004
What Have You Done?
she was under water
in the shadows
was it there or was it not
I stepped back
a veil in front of my eyes
the water was still
and so was she
I dove in with so little breath
in truth I knew
I was too late for death
I had one chance
I grasped her arm and floated upwards
wanting to stay below in the warm forgiving waters
what have you done
I screamed to the stars
then over to the shallow edge
she was face down
smaller
and more vulnerable then in life
her curls wet around her ears and neck
her dear profile at peace at last
a finger in her throat sounded a click
her body still and blue
is this what death looks like
my love was supposed to protect her
it didn't
my love was supposed to heal her
it didn't
you had said don't leave me
and I'd begged you not to leave me
we did
_________________________________________________
by William Shatner - Has Been
I have really enjoyed this album over the last couple of days. So much so that I think I will try and buy it or get it for a gift. (I have been LEGALLY streaming it off the internet from windows)
William Shatner works with Ben Folds to produce this beat poetry/spoken word/pop album. It's a touching, witty, and insightful look at the life of 73 year old man.
“These are thoughts and experiences of mine that very few people have heard before,” Shatner says. “I wanted to share them with my loved ones.”
It's really fun. I've transcribed the most depressing track. Another track that is really great is "You'll have time (You're gunna die)".
Posted by paul at 09:08 PM | Comments (2)
October 02, 2004
Orlando
I am leaving for the airport at 5am tomorrow to hitch a ride to sunny/hurricanny Orlando, FL. Please pray for my journey, that God would refresh my heart through the support raising follow up conferance, and he would hasten my return.
I will only be in Orlando about 30 or so odd hours but that is still the longest continuous time that I have been away from my beautiful wife.
You can pray for her as well.
Sing with me now...
"I'm leaving on a jet plane, know exactly how many minutes till I'll be back again. Oh, baby, I hate to go..."
Posted by paul at 08:41 PM | Comments (1)