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October 14, 2004
Crosstown Traffic
Eric Clapton had his driver's license suspended by the French, of all people, for driving an uber-fast 134mph - just slightly slower that the speed Germans went when invading for the second time. What caught my eye, though, in addition to the fact that Mr. Slowhand drives a very sweet Porsche 911 Turbo, were the ridiculous numbers cited in this article.
Clapton was cited for driving 134mph, which, according to the article, was 53mph over the speed limit. So the French have a highway limit of 81mph? Are they really that ridiculous? I couldn't believe it. Or maybe it's a cultural thing, where they can't use ROUND numbers like the silly Americans. It's OK to eat a cheeseburger, but only if you're a surrender monkey, and only if you're driving under the 49mph limit in town.
Then, suddenly, a realization: the problem was not the French (well, entirely, at least). The problem was the metric system. Clapton was busted for going 215kph in a 130kph zone. Maybe he was confused and thought that, at 134, he was only going 4 over. Que foolish!
Fortunately, Clapton was a good sport (probably because the suspension doesn't apply in Britain, where he resides), and even posed for photos with the French police (also called "gendarmes" or "weenies"). His secretary drove him home after Clapton paid his fine of 23,377 grams (£515, $922, $750Euro; it's a good thing the French have changed currencies, because before, he would have had to pay in Francs, and most people I know, even rock stars, don't make a habit of carrying that many hotdogs around - that would just be silly).
The morals of the story are: never trust a Frenchman, and never trust the metric system. If everyone would be agreeable and use standard measurements, it would make 907.2kg of sense.
Posted by Pat at October 14, 2004 04:21 PM
Comments
Metric French Monkeys, eh? That is stupid. (Mark Harle's idea.)
Posted by: Heather at October 14, 2004 06:28 PM
Amen, Pat! That has to be the greatest post I have ever read!
Posted by: Tom B. at October 15, 2004 12:45 PM
What kind of sense? Could it be frankincense?
I am not making this up: Wendy Ziebol's dear late brother, whose name was Frank, was dating a woman named Patty.
Okay, you can stop groanin.
Posted by: Kathy at October 17, 2004 09:41 PM
um . . . i agree with the french part . . .
Posted by: tom at October 18, 2004 03:07 PM