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December 22, 2006
(Most) Men are not big wrappers!
This was floating around email... but I find it hilarious every time I read it!
Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point
of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it
off. This is not just my opinion; this is a scientific fact
based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.
One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is
"if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the
person opens it."
The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a
matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift.
"No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at
Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like
enormous spitballs."
I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor
skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the
size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece
of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but
when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of
the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with
a marking pen.)
On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of
wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like
many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a
gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries
separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of
mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each
individual volt.
My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like
having babies that come more naturally to women than to men.
That is why today I am presenting:
GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped.
If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you
recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.
* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on
how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it
with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a
mixture of food coloring and liquid starch.
They must be smoking crack.
* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper!
Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive
bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to
delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:
YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?
YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!
YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.
In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you
give or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very
special time of year, is that you save the receipt.
Posted by Leah at 09:36 AM | Comments (3)
December 14, 2006
I REALLY REALLY don't like waiting rooms...
It all started last night. Jason and Belle were upstairs playing while I was hanging out with my friend Mrs. Windham. I heard her crying upstairs and after I few minutes I went to investigate. Apparently, Belle tripped over Jason’s shoe and fell but she wasn’t screaming and calmed down after about 10 minutes or so. We put her to bed shortly after that and she had a hard time falling asleep. However, she has been teething this week, so I didn’t think much of it. She finally fell asleep and slept through the night.
This morning I woke up and fed Belle breakfast and then set her down to go play with her toys. She fell over right away and started crying. Again, I figured she was still tired (and how can I say this delicately…. my child is dramatic!) I went to get her dressed for the morning and again, she wouldn’t walk or put any weight on her left foot. I called the doctor and our chiropractor and they both said to come in and get her looked at. Here is the run down of our day:
8:45am- appointment in the chiropractor’s office – (imagine a screaming child for several minutes during an exam)
9:20am- appointment with the pediatric office- (imagine a screaming little girl as they check her hips and leg)
10:00am- trip to Mercy Hospital for 7-9 xrays (imagine a hysterical child for about 20 minutes)
11:00am – another appointment back to the pediatric office as they tell us the results of her xrays (no crying this time because no one touched he) oh yeah… she has a buckle fracture on the lower region of her left tibia
12:00pm- appointment with the pediatric orthopedic person to get a cast (again, you can imagine how hard and how long she screamed…)
12:30pm- we left the doctors office with a Rohlf family completely exhausted and to top it off, Belle is sporting a hot pink cast.
She has to wear the cast for four weeks and then get another xray to make sure it is fully healed. She is in good spirits, however, she can’t walk anymore and she isn’t a fan of that. So far, she gets frustrated when she tries to move too fast and has fallen over a few times. I am hoping that figures out how to walk in the next few days with this cast on because my arms and upper back are already aching from carrying her around everywhere.
What a day! I seriously thought about 4 years have passed since this morning, but I keep remember that it is still Thursday.
Posted by Leah at 08:58 PM | Comments (5)
Merry Christmas!
This is the picture that we sent out with our Christmas letter this year. You have no ide how many "takes" we had to get this picture right!
Merry Christmas!
~The Rohlfs
Posted by Leah at 08:10 AM | Comments (4)
December 12, 2006
In light of the 2007 baby boom...
BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
_____________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
_____________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
_____________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
_____________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_____________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
_____________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
_____________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
_____________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Posted by Leah at 03:31 PM | Comments (5)
December 01, 2006
God has time for suprises!
In November, the Christian radio here had what they called a “faith experiment” in which you were to wake up every morning and ask God to surprise you. I was tentative at first as I knew that God could surprise me, but I didn't really believe that he would surprise me in the way that I would want. I really really wanted to see something physically in my hands that God blessed me with. Not just hearing from an old friend or finding my keys, but really to have something "drop out of the sky" into my lap. I know that I was being pretty self centered, but I decided to pray the prayer and see what God would do.
It wasn't until this last week that I realized all the blessings God gave my Jason and I this month. We have been looking for some new luggage as our family takes up a lot more space when we travel and we needed a bigger suitcase. Not a huge deal in he grand scheme of things, but it was important to me. This was not something that we had money for in our budget, but I was really hoping to get something before we traveled for the holidays. One day I was at a second hand store and I found an amazing deal on two great pieces of luggage for only $25! Another thing, our TV is slowly dying (it turns green and purple when we are watching it) and we weren't sure what to do. Again, this is not something that we had in our budget, but God totally blessed us the night before we were going to purchase a TV (it was a huge sale after Thanksgiving and we were going to use Christmas money from an early gift) when my husband's parents called and gave us their old TV for free! Should I keep going??? Of course! Another thing this month, our keyless entry to our car broke over a year ago and it has been something that I wanted back real bad. However, I had lived this long without it, and it was going to be $60 to repair it at the car dealer. One night at about 11:30pm I had this idea of how I could fix it and it worked! I have had keyless entry to my car for about 2 weeks now and it is wonderful. And then to top it off on Wednesday, I heard this morning on the radio that this faith experiment was still going on and I prayed the prayer again (I hadn't prayed it for about a week now). I didn’t really think of it again until I received a phone call at 4:30pm that my name had been picked in a drawing and I won a half day at the spa! Wooo hooo!
I am so amazed at God's blessing on our lives. I know even if he hadn't done all of this, it doesn't change the fact that he loves me and he is faithful, but I am in awe to think that he met me right where I needed him to come through!
Thanks God.
Posted by Leah at 07:49 AM | Comments (4)