September 18, 2007
cold
sirens. i never heard so many sirens as i hear here in chicago. i have started to not even notice them. when i do, i wonder where are they going? what has happened? but often i dont even notice.
my coworker and i got into a crazy discussion about the inequalities in the public school system the other day. i told her to read savage inequalities, but then took it back telling her she is already aware enough. it breaks my heart really. no support, no resources. what are they supposed to do to help those kids? how do you make a difference? we talked about race and poverty. taxes and glass ceilings. social justice and the courts. neighborhoods and property values. and money and power and politics. it wore us both out, we both lost sleep that night. the girls in the next office thought there were kids screaming. it was just us, friends. i was so honored to be so open and vulnerable with her. and see her heart about these tough issues. i was glad she trusts me and that our relationship is strong enought to handle the "race card" getting tossed out there. its crazy that even in this day and age, even in our field and our agency, our color can divide us. not today. a victory.
yesterday i watched two children get removed from their home. it was a tough day in court. a woman told me sometimes the right decision doesnt always feel good. im learning that lesson
i have been really blessed by three people God has placed in my life. i am not going to name them, but they too have all lost parents. one of them is a woman in my field who i admire greatly and wasnt even sure she knew i existed. she looked at me yesterday (while we were at court with the above mentioned family) and empathized with me. we talked about loss and she offered dear advise and a smile that warmed my soul. "goodness". i had sort of lost track of that.
Posted by Emily at September 18, 2007 06:25 PM
Comments
I love you deary, I wish our schedules were more similar... when I work 3-11 and you work normal people hours it doesn't work to call that often :(
Posted by: alisa at September 18, 2007 09:10 PM
hello emily,
i am sorry to bother you but are you related to a steve engelking? kind of an unusual name and i wondered when i came across your blog. thanks for your time! julie (shandonmama@yahoo.com)
Posted by: julie at September 18, 2007 10:58 PM
Sirens sometimes disturb me, too. When I was younger, my Mom suggested that I say a prayer when I heard a siren. I've done so ever since.
Posted by: Megan at September 20, 2007 11:51 PM
i pray when i hear sirens too:) my dad is a retired firefighter, so sirens have always made me think of him... every time i hear a siren i pray for my dad:) thanks for sharing, em. you are so loved.
Posted by: Jamie at September 21, 2007 02:52 PM
em, i'm so glad you've found some women who can empathize with you. i know it's been invaluable to have you available to me to empathize about junk in life.
Posted by: autumn at September 27, 2007 02:46 PM