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August 31, 2004
kids?
ah so yes as we can see, i am failing misserably along with some of my other closest pals at keeping my blog up these days. life got crazy and the blog went dead... sorry folks.
thoughts from work (brace yourselves, im sure you will get a lot of them now)
my heart broke yesterday at a comment that could have easily been overlooked and rolled into the playful banter that was going on at the time. background: i was spending some time with a kid i hadn't yet worked with yesterday. a kid who to be honest is a little punk (believe me, i held back my true evaluation of his general attitude with that word. there are much more fitting names but now that would be inappropriate) anyway, within the first five minutes of being in his home it was obvious, he was the one who thinks he has control and is almost always behind the trouble. insigating is definately his game. anyway... back to story. he and i were walking back with some other boys from the gym playing some basketball. after a long couple of hours and an instance with a pen, we had finally begun to bond and our interactions had become good humored. he was holding the door open and was about to go through but then jumped back to hold it open for me. stupid me smiles and walks through the door, and he trips me. i playfully shoved him into the wall and made some smart comment about "look you had me trusting you for a minute" and he smiled and shoved me back saying "well that was your first mistake emily, you never trust people just like that"... we went on to tease each other and race up the stairs...but i couldnt get the comment out of my head
to be 14 and already believe people are not trustworthy. while the comment was small there is a whole line of thinking and bucket of beliefs sitting behind it that tell that kid he is on his own. my heart broke to know that so far no one in his life has proven worthy of his trust. reminded me of a conversation i had with one of my favorite kids last summer about whether we should trust people until they do something to make us not trust them or not trust people until they make us believe the are worthy. guess is all comes down to the lives this kids have survived and the relationships they have had or not had. certainly something i never worried about as a child. is it even fair to call them that anymore?
stopping now before i launch into a rant
Posted by Emily at August 31, 2004 10:38 AM
Comments
woo for a moment there I thought you were talking about me. Though he seems to be alot like what I was like at that age....or still am
Posted by: wagner at August 31, 2004 01:43 PM
funny wags when i was telling becky stories about him last night, she laughed and mentioned how much he reminded her of you too
Posted by: em at September 1, 2004 12:54 AM
Huh thats interesting good to know where I stand, I guess
Posted by: wagner at September 1, 2004 07:03 PM