By now, many of you have heard that Amber and I's mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Tuesday, July 29, 2008. We appreciate all of the outpouring of support that we have already received from so many of you.

The following is information regarding her memorial service. If you wish to help with the post-service gathering, please contact Mara Lennander. Her email address is sutchm@msn.com. Please put "Michelle Long Memorial Service" in the subject line so that it does not get lost as junk mail.

If you wish to attend the memorial service, it will be held at the Iowa Veterans Cemetery, west of Des Moines, on Friday, August 8 at 4:00 p.m.

Directions from Ames, IA
1. Take I-35S to Des Moines
2. Take I-80 W towards Council Bluffs
3. Get off on Exit 113. You should be able to clearly see the entrance to the cemetery.

If you wish to attend the post-memorial gathering, it will be held at the Country Inn & Suites in Clive.

Directions from the Iowa Veterans Cemetery

1. Take I-80E/I-35N (Exit 123B) toward Chicago/Minneapolis.
2. Take the University Ave exit (Exit 124) toward Clive.
3. Turn left onto University Ave.
4. Turn right onto NW 118th St.
5. End at Country Inn & Suites (1350 NW 118th St, Clive, IA 50325).

If you wish you send a card, flowers, etc, please send them to my address as Amber is in transition.

Autumn Cartagena & Family
2135 Prairie View West #202
Ames, IA 50010

Once again, thank you for all your support through this difficult time.

i've had quite a bit more time to read in these past few weeks so i thought i'd post some quick reviews of some of my choices.

Sold by Patricia McCormick. This was a tough, but good read. It tells the story of a girl from Pakistan who is sold into prostitution in India. The book is written as a series of poems and somewhat disjointed thoughts. It ends happily with the intervention of a western missionary group.

The Jericho Sanction & Assassins by Oliver North. I originally bought The Jericho Sanction at a garage sale for a quarter. I thought Jensen might be interested in reading it. By the time I needed a new book for the rec, he hadn't started it yet, so I picked it up. It turns out that it is the second book in a triology about a Marine Lt Col. Thankfully I wasn't lost at all as they reference the important parts from the first book quite a bit. The plots are crazy intersections of Russia, the Middle East, Cuba--you name it! A great combination of military technology, history, and life on the home front. Although I didn't know this before I started, the three books are written from a Christian perspective.

The Moon in the Mango Tree by Pamela Ewen. Based on the true story of the author's grandmother and grandfather's experiences as missionaries in Siam during the 1920s. Although, fiction, a very realistic portrayal of the difficulties faced by both the grandfather (a missionary doctor) and the grandmother (a professionally trained singer who gives up her career for her marriage). The cover made me leary that this was some kind of Christian romance novel, but I was (thankfully) proven wrong.

When Sinners Say I Do: The Power of the Gospel for Marriage by Dave Harvey. Wonderful! Should definitely be added to the list of "Read this before you get married" books. I would say that the book focuses mostly on communication and conflict resolution. It definitely included aspects of sin, forgiveness, mercy, and persistence that I greatly needed kicked in the butt about! It's not so much a "how to" book as a reflective guide for reminding ourselves and our spouses of the need for a Savior.

Meditations from Iraq by Lance Kittleson. This is a devotional-type book (each chapter is only a few pages long) written by a chaplain from Des Moines who served in Iraq. Very encouraging and thoughtful.

well, there might be a few more than that, but those are the ones that come to mind from the last few weeks. some of these i own--if you'd like to borrow them--and some of them i got from the Ames Public Library. my cousin-in-law just gave me a bag of military history books to bring home for Jensen so i might start on them this week. stay tuned :)

All that is necessary to help New Life members and individuals in their neighborhoods is to let me know so that I can hook you up with the right people.

If you would like housing with New Life, please let me know by 5:00 p.m. on Thursday, June 27.

I apologize for the confusion...

Things change daily here. The city officials and secular organizations are halting efforts to go into flooded areas and help home owners. They are afraid that Cedar Rapids does not have the infrastructure to support an influx of people. From their perspective the hotels are full and one or our hospitals is still closed. They are also concerned about liability with what can happen. They have told “Serve the City” to not proceed with help in this area. So far the leadership of Serve the City has agreed to stop. But take heart.

Samaritan’s Purse has set up shop at Hillside Wesleyan Church here in town and are ready to send out 50 volunteers a day. All you need do is go to Samaritan’s Purse web site (Link below) and register. The age requirement is that helpers be at least 16 years of age. Samaritan’s Purse are ready to provide food, lodging, tools, training, and insurance. So you can see their need to have you register. Don’t forget to note that you want to come to Cedar Rapids or they will assign you as they perceive the need. They are also working with the support of the Wesleyan and Presbyterian relief organizations.

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Relief_and_Development/Volunteer/

Once you have registered on line you can direct any further questions to Amy Proiborski at (319) 390-8055 or email Amy Priborsky at [thegadgeteer@msn.com] who is the Hillside Wesleyan Church contact person. She can either answer any of your questions or refer you to some of Samaritan’s Purse who can.

In case you don't get the e-mail, aren't at The Rock or Stonebrook, and don't check Facebook, I thought I'd post some updates here as well.

We are working to partner with our sister church in Cedar Rapids (New Life) to help families affected by the recent flooding.

If anyone is available to go to Cedar Rapids this weekend, please let me know. If you have generators, tools, boots, masks, or gloves, PLEASE bring them with you (if you don't have them, try to borrow at least gloves, boots, and masks). Housing will be provided as long as we know how many individuals plan to go.

If you are not available this weekend, we are also trying to get a crew together for next weekend (June 28-29). We are also trying to get a group to go to Parkersburg to help those affected by the recent tornadoes (June 28-29). So please consider which trip you might be available for and then contact us. I

f you are interested in going to Parkersburg, please contact Andrew Teply (teply@iastate.edu, 515-460-4587).
If you are interested in going to Cedar Rapids, please contact Autumn Cartagena (ahare@iastate.edu, 515-450-1057).

Thank you for considering these opportunities. And please keep those affected by the weather in your prayers.

AND as if things weren't going well enough...our departmental computer guy was able to fix my computer! i haven't had adminstrator rights for about two years. don't ask. we theorized a ton but who knows for sure what happened. the good news is that it's fixed. and that really expensive radio i've been carrying around can now serve its intended purpose as an mp3 player.

it sure is nice when these kinds of things get sorted out. go Big Guy.

as promised, a blog about my new found "hobby." running.

i should start with some background. when i was a kid, i wasn't exactly what you would call "athletic." well, who are we kidding? i'm still not. even if i choose to sit out in a sporting event, i almost inevitably get hit in the head by the ball. track activities were no better. as many of you may have experienced, at least once a year, our whole class had to run the mile. i lived in a small town so running the mile consisted of running down a main street in the town and back. i always tried to keep up with the fast kids which meant that about two blocks later i was laying on the ground, completely winded, and asking someone to go tell the teacher i needed my inhaler. i am not exaggerating. and this happened pretty much EVERY year of elementary school. high school did not get any better. in fact, phys ed was about as traumatizing as it can get. i didn't lay down on the sidewalk (we had a track by then). after all, if they called me the kinds of names they did when i was at least trying, i didn't want to know what they would call me if i outright quit.

so by now you're probably wondering why i ever returned to running. well, to start off, i'm a self-examiner. i'm always thinking about how i'm doing, why i'm doing something, etc. one thing i've discovered in my self-examination is that i HATE doing anything that i'm not almost 100% sure that i'll be successful at. running is definitely one of those things. but, since i've discovered this about myself, i've been much more purposeful in attempting this scary i-think-i'm-going-to-fail type activities.

back in january, i started on a treadmill. i started by seeing if i could run a mile at a pretty slow pace. and i did! i actually made it. at that point, i decided that i would start upping my mileage by 0.25 miles a week until i could make it to my ultimate distance. it wasn't very long til i started learning additional lessons about myself.

1. i am insanely impatient with myself. so, i said i'd increase by 0.25 miles a week? yeah. that last for about a week and a half. then i decided, well, let's just see if i can make it to 2.00 miles. once i made it to that distance, i just kept pushing myself.

ugh, this is JUST how i am in my spiritual life. i can't just crawl, i have to walk. i can't just walk, i have to run. and with my spiritual muscles not completely strengthened, it usually results in my falling flat on my face. okay, thankfully i haven't fallen flat on my face in my real running, but you get the idea.

2. i have major pride issues (pretty sure that goes hand-in-hand with impatience). i started out running on the treadmill. part of that was practical. i'm not very good at pacing myself so it does it for me. HOWEVER, the other reason was that it is way harder for people to see how fast (or slow as the case may be) you are going. running on the track is hard because people pass you!

once again, i'm the same way spiritually. i worry way too much about what people think of my progress.

3. it's totally mental. every day, on every step up to the 3rd floor of the rec, i think, i can't run today. i'm just not going to be able to do it. besides, no one will notice if i run or not. no one cares. and yet, every day, if i made it TO the treadmill or track, i was able to complete my run.

sometimes i feel like this spiritually. it's mental. when i go to have a quiet time, sometimes the voices in my head are the same. i can't connect today. i feel too crummy and lazy. besides, no one will notice if i am in the Word today. no one cares. if i take my thoughts captive, if i make it to that quiet place, where God can speak, it's good. he speaks. we connect.

4. it's about discipline. daily discipline. even if i don't make it 2-3 miles every day, if i put some effort in, MAN, the day goes better and the next day is just a little easier. if i take a few days off (ESPECIALLY if it's cause i'm being lazy), i feel like i'm starting all over the next time!

same thing spiritually. it's about daily discipline. man, if i don't make the time for a quiet time for a few days, BOY do i feel it (and unfortunately, unlike running, everyone around me probably does as well). and it gets that much harder to do it the next time.

5. it's really just about the next step. when i'm running if i think about how much further i have to go, i get so overwhelmed. i start thinking i won't be able to make it. i start running faster than i should just to make the end seem closer. my mental game goes out the window. but if i just focus on making the decision to take the next step, or the next 10, i can usually make the whole distance.

i am SO bad about just thinking about today. i like to plot my life out months, even years, in advance. but, just like with running, it's totally overwhelming. i find that if i just take it daily, focus on making it through today, i usually make it.

6. watching other people run doesn't make me a better runner.

7. being around other people who are working out makes it easier to work out myself.

if you want me to explain these as well, i can, but much like the others, i hope the spiritual parallels are somewhat evident. and this blog is already approaching novel-length.

anyway, i don't mean in any way that the parallels are direct. these are personal analogies of my life (and so of course, at some point, they break down). if they connect with you, awesome. if not, that's cool too. i trust you're learning your own lessons.

oh, and before i wrap up i should note: i did make it in a 5k (that was my real goal). i started crying with about a half of a mile left because i couldn't believe i was actually doing it. i quickly realized i cannot cry, breathe, and run at the same time. so i stopped the crying and kicked that race's butt. the end :)

obviously a lot has happened since then. i had a long period of random jobs before i landed a great job at ISU. i now work as an academic advisor and i love it.

currently, when i'm not helping students, i'm working on some guest lectures for developmental psych this summer, trying to stay busy with improvement projects around the office, and organizing a book club i'm trying to start this summer.

at home, i try to stay on top of cleaning (am always trying to improve things there as well), decorating, cooking (which has been way more fun now that we have new neighbors!), etc.

jensen and i adopted a cat from the ames shelter last september. he's definitely our kid. his name is baxter (although he rarely gets called that...more often it's kitty face, cat face, crazy mammal, catius maximus...oh yes, we are those kind of cat people). we adore him. he has much more of a dog personality. he waits for us at the door when we get home. we always stretch his arms so now he just puts them up in the air when we get home. he never meows, just makes a brrrr noise when he wants something. he plays fetch and strategically leaves his toys in places where he knows we are often (in hopes that we'll be inspired to play with him). anyway, he's the best.

jensen's crazy busy schedule has continued. between school, ROTC, and national guard, it's rare he has a free moment. i'm pretty excited that summer is here and things will slow down a little bit. he still has to take classes and go away for military training, but trust me, it's still way better.

i've tried to keep myself busy with bible studies and lifegroup, plus my newest athletic endeavors: running and water aerobics :) i'll blog about running soon. i seem to be learning a lot of lessons there. anyone game for a 5k? we're going to be trying another one in june.

anyway, i'm going to try and re-enter the blogging world. maybe they won't all be deep and meaningful, but at least it'll give you something to read when you're taking a break at work... :)

on thursday, i got a phone call from astrid telling me that jensen's dad had had another heart attack and that he was scheduled to have open heart surgery on tuesday. bomb dropped. his dad requests that all of his kids make it to chicago before the surgery so he can talk to them in case anything goes wrong. so, i give her the emergency contact number i have for jensen and begin the waiting game.

by thursday evening, their family hasn't gotten ahold of jensen, so i start trying the emergency contact number. no one answers. no answering machine picks up. i think i maybe have the wrong number. nope. so part of me definitely starts to panic. i mean, this is the published emergency, 24-hour contact number that was given out to all friends and family of LTC members and NO ONE ANSWERS?! finally, about 10pm (11pm Kentucky time), I get out the LTC graduation invitation and scour it for additional numbers. there's a number for an information hotline, but it doesn't say what hours you'll get an answer. i decided to try and call it, hoping for a human being on the other end.

i get an answer on the first ring.

a very nice young man takes down all my information, tells me they have to contact a few people, but they'll call me back. in the meantime, i go get online to wait it out. jensen and i's friend james is online. his girlfriend is at LTC so i start messaging him to find out what's going on with her. then he asks about jensen and how he's doing. i tell him about the emergency situation and that i'm trying to get ahold of jensen. james tells me he's actually on the phone with mel. so, he tells mel, she hangs up with him, goes and finds a drill sergeant, who then in turn goes and wakes jensen up. so around midnight, jensen gets woken up, asked if he has a cell phone and if he's used it recently (which of course makes him think he's in trouble). they tell him to go get his phone and check for messages. he does and then calls me for the details.

the next twenty-four hours were spent trying to figure out how to get him from fort knox to chicago in a short amount of time. as unfortunate as this situation is, the timing worked out well. yesterday (sunday) was the only day they were given off at LTC. so, i talked to a lieutenant colonel at fort knox, bought jensen a bus ticket for saturday, and got the time off at my own work to go meet him.

he arrived saturday in the late afternoon (his bus was an hour and a half late...it was an EXCRUCIATING hour and a half!). we grabbed something to eat and then went to the hospital. his dad was doing pretty well. the doctors have been very surprised at how well he's doing given his condition. he was up and around, refusing to just lay in bed. and, the couple weeks before this happened, their family had gone a cruise and to disney world. isn't it amazing that this didn't happen then, but rather when he was fifteen minutes away from a hospital with the #2 cardiac surgeon in the U.S.?

anyway, he talked to us and this, that, and the other. trying to keep us from knowing he's scared. trying to assure us that he'll make it to our wedding (which it's most likely that he won't even if everything goes well). a couple hours later, jensen's brother, pichie, arrives. he's at basic training at fort benning, GA and also had to get a few day pass to come. the rest of the evening was pretty much spent with pichie and jensen swapping training stories.

the next day, sunday, started with a huge puerto rican meal and then we returned to the hospital. by the afternoon, the room was filled with different extended family members. jensen's uncle ici (who he hasn't seen since he was about 9) came up from louisiana. he's a master chief in the coast guard and hasn't been able to be with the family very much in the past. oh, and by the way, this will be a weird mental picture, but now i know who jensen resembles. jensen has his mother's face, but his uncle's frame and build all the way. even their heads are shaped the same way! anyway, it was really cool to see the family come together.

yoly, jensen's stepmom, had requested that i make sure everyone prayed for cruz before we left the hospital. so before i left to take jensen to the bus station again, we all stood in a circle and prayed. i think it was a really good way to end the visit.

after that, i took jensen to the bus station, waited until he absolutely had to go, and then said tearful good-byes. it was much harder to say good-bye this time than when he first left for LTC. but, two weeks til i see him again, three weeks til we get married.

and the last time the emergency trip happened, it all worked out for the best. we're praying that the same will be true in the case. so, please be praying for the cartagena family, especially for cruz, his health, his surgery, and all the decisions that will have to be made afterwards.

by the way, to you all, he says "hi." :)

he's super tired. he said the first week was really, really hard. a weed-out week. which none of them was expecting. he said they really did send someone home for high blood pressure, so thank you for all your prayers that his would go down!

he's made lots of friends. there are a few guys there from puerto rico so that was nice for him. he's already had one round of leadership so that's probably one of the reasons he's especially tired (they take turns having cadets do rounds of being in charge during each phase).

and he's met yet another person from the famous blackhawk down incident. one of his drill instructors was an air traffic controller in somalia during the whole ordeal. i'm sure this will become one of his favorite stories to tell from LTC :)

personally, i was just excited to see God's hand even in this short phone conversation. first of all, he called while i was taking a nap. it has been SO hard for me to rest since he's been gone. i've had to daily, hourly, give up my expectations about him calling. when i finally do, if even for a few moments of rest, he calls. i love how God does that. and i had some concerns that i hadn't addressed in any letters i've sent and that i wasn't going to bring up on the phone, but jensen addressed them (without my prompting). i know God didn't have to give me peace about those things, but he chose to unburden my heart. and lastly, just the circumstances under which jensen called--it was after lights out and he had firewatch (getting up at 3:30 to do guard duty and then staying up through the next day's training). he gave up a portion of the little sleep he gets to call me. now that makes a girl feel loved.

anyway, please keep praying for us both. pray for his success and for the strength he needs on a daily basis. pray for his relationships with other cadets. pray for God to continue to stretch me and grow me through this process.

ah, it was SUCH a relief just to know that i can finally contact him. EVEN if it won't get there for at least four days. EVEN if i don't know if he'll have time to write back. at least now i have the freedom to bombard him with tons of letters telling him how much i love and miss him.

if any of you would like to write him, feel free to ask for his address. i'm sure he can use as much encouragement as he can get!

They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
Psalm 145:5-7

So, I was kind of "saving" these up. I don't really know why. But, I know one way to bring peace and hope is to remember the good things that God has done. With that, I'd like to share some of the blessings God has given us along the way in planning this wedding. I hope that for everyone (engaged, married, single, EVERYONE) it helps you to meditate on the gifts God has lavished on you. Here goes...

1. We're having our reception at the Knapp-Storms Commons (yay nostalgia!). The first bonus was that you have to pay a $500 deposit for the room, but they eventually put that towards your catering bill. When we found out we had to move our wedding date, we were technically supposed to lose this deposit. Not only did they let us keep our deposit, they gave us an extra month to decide on a new day!

2. I told this one already (I think), but I waited four months for my wedding dress and ended up getting it for $300 less!

3. The wonderful Emily Wagner helped sew a bustle for my dress so I wouldn't have to pay $200 to have one done at the store. Thank God for talented friends!

4. We ended up finding bridesmaid dresses on sale and some of the bridesmaids were able to get them at half the price!

5. We found a SWEET apartment for way cheap. Our apartment manager has really taken a liking to us so she picked out a newly renovated space for us at an even cheaper cost than we originally talked about. We love her :)

6. Some more talented and wonderful friends, the Leidals, designed our wedding invitations for us and had them printed up really cheap (under $100).

7. So far, all our decorations have been half off :)

8. ISU Dining created a Puerto Rican menu for us! And, they recently decided all events at K-S Commons get to use table service for free--another $300 off the bill!

9. Our wedding is Iowa Games weekends, so hotels are BOOKED. I had talked to the MU, but never turned in an official contract. They still kept rooms for us so our out-of-town guests still have a chance at a hotel room!

10. It's Iowa Games weekend so we might end up with fireworks during our reception :)

So, I'm sure there are many more blessings I'm forgetting, but I think that's good for now.

It's been really reassuring to know this is not just me and my event planning skills, but that God's hand is in it.

As you may or may not know, Jensen has been pursuing his dream of joining the military throughout this semester. God has continued to open doors, but never without testing us about whether we trust him and whether we can be okay if he takes the dream away.

At the beginning it was his physical fitness--could he pass the PT test? With lots of prayers and a ton of work, he did it and got the next go-ahead, dropping his running time by three minutes in two weeks.

Next was his academic standing--could he make the grades to raise his cumulative GPA? Once again, with lots of prayers and tons of work, he did it and got the next go-ahead, achieving a semester GPA of 3.61.

I truly tell you these things to give God the glory. He keeps bringing Jensen above and beyond.

This morning, I took Jensen to the airport so that he could fly to Fort Knox, KY for a month of military training. This training would allow him to catch up on what he's missed by not starting in ROTC his freshman year. Just to let you know how much we believed this is what God has for us, you should know that Jensen's participating in this training means that we will be separated for the last month before our wedding (he'll return less than a week before the big day).

But once again, God wants to know if we will give up this dream for him and he is testing our faith. Jensen called me this afternoon (he only had two minutes to talk) and told me that when he arrived at Fort Knox and had to go through a physical, his blood pressure was really, really high. This has happened before when he is stressed out, but it typically goes down as his anxiety is reduced.

Jensen and I would like you guys to pray that he would be filled with peace beyond understanding tonight and that his blood pressure would return to normal by tomorrow morning when he will be tested again. If it is not, this journey will be over and he will be sent home.

Guys, please pray that we would both be filled with trust and praise through the next twenty-four hours and all our days.

"In addition to the problem of pain, G.K. Chesterton seemed equally fascinated by its opposite, the problem of pleasure. He found materialism too thin to account for the sense of wonder and delight that gives an almost magical dimension to such basic human acts as sex, childbirth, play, and artistic creation.

Why is sex fun? Reproduction surely does not require pleasure: some animals simply split in half to reproduce, and even humasn use methods of artificial insemination that involve no pleasure. Why is eating enjoyable? Plants and the lower animals manage to obtain their quota of nutrients without the luxury of taste buds. Why are there colors? Some people get along fine without the ability to detect color. Why complicate vision for the rest of us?

It struck me, after reading my umpteenth book on the problem of pain, that I have never even seen a book on "the problem of pleasure." Nor have I met a philosopher who goes around shaking his or her head in perplexity over the question of why we experience pleasure. Yet it looms as a huge question: the philosophical equivalent, for atheists, to the problem of pain for Christians. On the issue of pleasure, Christians can breathe easier. A good and loving God would naturally want his creatures to experience delight, joy, and personal fulfillment.

Christians start from that assumption and then look for ways to explain the origin of suffering. But should not atheists have an equal obligation to explain the origin of pleasure in a world of randomness and meaningless?"