Angelina Frerichs

...praying

*hug*

Hi Angelina (beautiful name, btw),

I'm the most insecure person I've ever met and three things help me, although I've not achieved permanent victory and I don't think I ever will -- thorn in the flesh category, I think.

1. Be thankful for the bad stuff. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and petition WITH THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7) Be thankful for the external forces that complicate your life, but ESPECIALLY for the things that bug you about yourself internally, because....

2. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Your insecurities are the byproduct of your heightened sensitivity and self-awareness -- qualities developed in you to a level not known by most other people. God made you that way and wants to use those qualities in the lives of others and for his glory.

3. Look at him, not yourself. "Fix your eyes on Jesus who for the joy (that would be you) set before him endured the cross....Consider him who endured such hostility from sinful men so that you would not grow weary and lose heart." He's been there. He experienced self-doubt and the mother of all anxiety attacks in the garden, but he worked through it because you inspired him.

Praying for you sister.

1Help, GOD-the bottom has fallen out of my life! Master, hear my cry for help!
2Listen hard! Open your ears!
Listen to my cries for mercy.

3If you, GOD, kept records on wrongdoings,
who would stand a chance?
4As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
and that's why you're worshiped.

5I pray to GOD-my life a prayer--
and wait for what he'll say and do.
6My life's on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning.

7O Israel, wait and watch for GOD-
with GOD's arrival comes love,
with GOD's arrival comes generous redemption.
8No doubt about it--he'll redeem Israel,
buy back Israel from captivity to sin.

Psalm 130 (message)

With your permission, to expand on point three above:

The context of those verses in Hebrews 12 is that we are on a trail or race track and that Christ has gone on ahead of us. We must keep our eyes on him because he is at the finish line waiting. A problem is, however, that we often keep looking back on ourselves and our past. We can't move forward if we're looking back. This is why the "one thing" Paul said he does is forget what lies behind. And, if you remember, Paul had a lot to forget.

"I thought I was a child
until you turned and smiled.
I thought I knew where I was going
until I heard your laughter flowing
And came upon the wisdom in your eyes.
Surprise.

It's such a clever innocence
with which you show myself to me,
As if you know how it feels
to never be who you wanted to be.
I thought I was a child
until you turned and smiled
I thought that I was free,
but I'm just one more prisoner of time
Alone within the boundaries of my mind."
-- "I thought I was a Child" by Jackson Browne
(I like the Bonnie Raitt version)

check - prayer in progress ;)