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March 30, 2004
It's my birthday!
I love birthdays, I'm not sure why, but I always have. I can't sleep the night before...I am excited at every turn 'cause it's better than Christmas for me. Every year, I don't know what to expect. Take for instance this morning...I was up until about 1 or so last night. The last thing I would expect was my roommates waking me up...at 5 in the morning. (oh, and becky and autumn were there too!) But, it's great! They made me eggs and muffins, and gave me flowers.
Then, I went to work, that was kind of blah. But, AFTER work, I got to pick up pictures from my Seattle trip...way cool!
And, I came home to find flowers again...from Judy Anderson. It's been a good day so far. Who knows what else lies ahead. I know I'm having dinner at Kirsten and Tony's, but I'm not sure from there. I do have to finish preparing for the seminar tomorrow night, but I'm sure it'll happen.
I would also like to take this time to recognize the birthday of Micah Satren, friend and all around cool guy. I just thought I would take this time, Micah, to tell you that I remember. Hope you have a good day, and that work doesn't suck so bad. Word on the street is that Gribble bought me some Woodchuck, so feel free to come share one with me if this ol' working life has you down.
Posted by Angelina at 04:15 PM | Comments (3)
March 29, 2004
If I could...
If I could do any one thing to serve the kingdom of God, I would very gladly love to build up and teach younger women.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what lies ahead in life beyond college ministry. I realize that more and more I have a heart for women's ministry. And, specifically, I want to teach. I think that the world affects women differently and that we face battles that are unique to those faced by our brothers in the faith. And, I think that women can benefit greatly from being taught by other women. Whether this means through relationship, small group, or even large group teachings, I am all for it!
It's exciting for me to be able to teach part of the women’s' seminar at Deeper because of this. It is truly my heart and my passion to speak directly to women about the struggles we face. I never would have thought that I would be lucky enough to do so at such a young age...so am I grateful for the opportunity. I must say it is my dream someday to be invited to speak at women’s' retreats or conferences as well as to continue to live out the life of a Titus 2 woman in my day to day ministry and relationships.
Only God knows if it will happen or not, but I will keep pursuing him, and asking for the opportunities. Maybe with persistence in prayer and pursuit of him, he will make my life worthy of the call on my heart.
Posted by Angelina at 06:27 PM | Comments (0)
March 28, 2004
The radio shack story...
Here’s a story for you!
Last weekend the hinges on my cell phone cracked making it impossible to either keep the phone open or closed; it sort of remained in this half floppy state. Now, I've only had my phone for about two months, so I was utterly confused about that. So, I took it back to the Radio Shack where I signed up for my plan. It was going to take two weeks for them to send in the phone and have it checked out!
I admit that I am a 'new' cell phone user, but in the past two months I have gotten quite attached to my little friend. So, I was quite put out about the idea of having to be without my phone for two weeks. Plus, if they discovered that it could have been my fault at all, I would have to pay for the repairs. Now, I must admit that I am afraid about this, and highly annoyed. But, I also felt like I had absolutely no choice in this matter. It was both break my phone more by using it, and eventually have to pay more to fix it or buy a new one OR I could send it in and be without it for a couple weeks.
Well, feeling up against a wall, I told the guy to send it in. But, I wasn't so nice about it. I was very snippy and quite rude to him. I turned about walked out of the store, feeling very put out and rattling off a few explicatives under my breath. Not my best moment in life, I admit.
But, the thing is: I didn't really care! I was seriously set off. Somehow I felt justified in my anger.
Well, thankfully I was not alone. Becky Gribble had given me a ride and witnessed the whole interaction. She was quite taken aback by my behavior and as we talked about it on the way home, she helped me see that it really had to do with other things in my life, and not my phone. She also turned the truck around and headed back to the store.
She was going to make me apologize to that man for my behavior! Unbelievable! But, I submitted. As I was walking up to the door, she even rolled down her window and commented, "Don't forget to swallow your pride before you open up that door!"
And, I did. I humbled myself and I apologized to the poor cell phone guy. He didn't know what to think! He said that people always get upset about their phones and that he is always treated portly, and that no one has ever come back to apologize for treating him that way. He was grateful, and asked what made me come back.
I told him that my friend helped me to see that it was really about other things going on that day and not about him and that there would have been no way for him to know that I was a Christian by the way I treated him, and that grieved me regardless whether or not he knew. So, I thanked him for helping me out, told him to have a good night and I left the store.
That day was pretty miserable before then, but thanks to Becky, I know I made the right choice to humble myself, and the day got better after that.
Posted by Angelina at 11:33 PM | Comments (4)
March 27, 2004
a relief...
Luke 12:1-5
"Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying: "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.
"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. "
I shared this passage with the women on Wednesday during our seminar...little did I know how much it would impact me again. It is so painful to think that Satan can deceive us completely as we keep things hidden in our hearts, so afraid to tell anyone. It's only when we shed light on things by bringing them out in the open, and letting it be made known that we see how anything truly is and how we have been deceived for so long.
It's a relief today as I open up about the lies I have been believing in my heart. It is amazing how little we actually understnd by ourselves. We think we know what happened in a particular situation or we think we know how somone else was truly feeling when they did something. But, truth be told: I know nothing...nothing at all.
In other news: I'd like to welcome my super secret reader (my mom) to this blog. Thanks for being my fan, even when I don't know it. I love you.
Posted by Angelina at 04:45 PM | Comments (2)
March 21, 2004
Disclaimer:
I will try to post some new entries this week, but I make no promises. Please do not give up on me because a lot is going on right now. Spring break wasn't what any of us expected it to be, and I"m pretty tired. I've also got to spend some serious time preparing for the women's seminar this week at Deeper.
If you want, you can pray for me. I am going to need an extra measure of strength as well as wisdom to make it through this week. And, please continue to pray for Becky.
Posted by Angelina at 11:40 PM | Comments (1)
March 11, 2004
The time has come...
Well, my dear readers, it is time for me to bid you adieu, even if it is but for a short while. The mystery of the unknown draws me away from this little computer and this little state to a land flowing with coffee and rain. I shall meet you again in the future with a dream to speak of and a thought to share. I shall miss your companionship (unless you are going with me and I shall then miss your absence). But as for now, I think I shall take this moment to fly away...
Posted by Angelina at 08:04 PM | Comments (2)
March 10, 2004
Seattle
Okay, so less than two days until we leave for Seattle. I'm a whole big lot of emotions right now that are all bundled up together in some sort of weird fashion. I am excited about what God is going to do with the people on our ministry team who are going, I am scared about the car ride, I am excited about the car ride, I feel like I've got nothing ready for the trip...but I've been working on it all week. I am excited about everyone that is going, yet I'm bummed that the other team isn't going with us. I just found out that Autumn is staying back to support raise. I'm hacked to tell you the truth. Not at Autun, I think she is making a good decision, but I'm hacked that I don't get to spend the summer with her already and now I don't get to spend spring break with her either. Oh, and 'cause she's helped plan A LOT for this trip and it's sad she's not going. Somewhere God is in all of this emotion. (but let's face it, the quiet time ran out a little bit ago) So, I just hope he straightens it all out, my emotions and every detail.
Posted by Angelina at 08:34 PM | Comments (6)
March 08, 2004
His power
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” --2 Corinthians 12:9
So, I’m not ready to go into the specific details of it all, but I have been overwhelmed this weekend by how much God wants to do in my weaknesses. I have thought a lot about how he has used so many of my faults to show His power and might. I am being confronted again with a task I will only accomplish if I rely solely on God. It is amazing. Maybe soon I’ll go into the details…I’m almost too blown away to believe it is real. But, as I look back in my life and see how timid I used to be…I was a virtual doormat for a number of years…I can only attribute my strength and courage to God taking a firm grasp on my weakness and perfecting His power in it.
Posted by Angelina at 12:09 AM | Comments (3)
March 07, 2004
Sabbath
I've always mentally known that a Sabbath was important. Over the years, without any sort of regularity, I have even taken Sabbaths. But, I've never felt like over the course of time I have never felt like I had a pattern of consistently refreshing Sabbaths.
I have planned to have Sabbath days, but the more I seem to plan what I'm going to do on that particular day, the less I seem to be refreshed after it is said and done. Today, however, was wonderful. I had no plans other than to sleep until I woke up.
I got up around 10:30 and as has been my custom for the week, I immediately opened my one year bible. Then, I spent some time journaling from the Word and some prayers. And, I studied a chapter out of one of the books I am currently reading. Then, I had lunch while watching my favorite part of "Hope Floats" I finished another book I was reading called "There Are No Children Here." After that, I sent out a couple e-mails and picked up groceries for our ministry team dinner. Then, tonight I went to the prayer meeting and out to eat at Hickory Park with some off-campus people afterwards.
You know what? It's the most refreshing day I've had in months and I didn't plan a thing. It just seemed to happen. I love that. Sometimes I think the best things in life just sort of happen to you like in a haze. It's been that way with a lot of things for me. Especially relationships with close friends, they just sort of all of a sudden happen. You connect with someone and things change. I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well here or not, but it's a feeling that's hard to describe.
But, you know what? It happened with God today and this week. I've never felt closer to Him than I do right now. Even the way I journaled today truly felt like I was just talking to one of my closest friends about what was going on, what I've been thinking about, what I've been worrying about, what I've been dreaming about.
Anyway, I know it's the weekend and nobody reads anyway but I just had to share it with you...
Posted by Angelina at 12:39 AM | Comments (4)
March 05, 2004
A New Routine
Okay, so this week has been messed up, I will admit to that. My consistency with blogging has been lacking. But...there's a reason.
You see, I've been trying to change my schedule this week. I've always gotten up barely in time for work, maybe twenty minutes before I have to be there. Enough time to get dressed and brush my teeth. I've never made it a priority to spend time with God in the morning, or even to eat breakfast.
But, a wild hair got into me this week and I decided to try an experiment. I have gotten up at least one hour early for work every morning, spent time in thw Word and journaling, got ready, and ate breakfast. It has been amazing! The downfall is that I've been taking naps and going to bed early because my body has been in culture shock from getting up so early every day.
Good news is that I am coming out of it! So, I came home from work today ready to blog. I guess that'll be the routine. We'll see if I can make it work next week. I'll be the mid-afternoon edition I guess.
On the up side of all this, my relationship with God has been amazing this week. I've been more refreshed and have found more time to read extra-biblical books. And, I've begun each day more prepared for God to use me. So, all in all it's been worth it. I guess we'll see if the second week pans out or not.
Posted by Angelina at 04:37 PM | Comments (1)
March 01, 2004
Butch
I didn't get anything done as planned this weekend, but oh well! I got to hang out with my friends, and Saturday I spent the day with Becky, her best friend Kim, and Kim's parents: Donna and Butch. We went shopping, had dinner, and it was a good time.
It's interesting hanging out with other people's families. I mean, let's face it, everybody has quirks...and so do all of our families. The great thing about being with someone else's family is that parents seem to just not care at all, but you get the benefit of them not being your parents, so there are no ill-affects of their antics, you can simply enjoy them.
Take for instance Butch. He was an active firefighter for 13 years, and a noted history buff who would make The History Channel pale in comparison. He's also pretty outgoing and loves to talk to people. So, as you can imagine...he talks about history to anybody and everybody!
We were in the mall food court, and there were these cheerleaders...the Spartans and the Trojans. Now, had anyone in our generation encountered this mass of peppy high schoolers they would have thought in their head of numerous SNL references and other such things. But not Butch. His first instinct was to ask said cheerleaders if the did in fact know who the Spartans and the Trojans really were.
Then, we saw a man wearing a Vietnam Vet. t-shirt. Butch had just read a book about Vietnam and felt he wanted to tell that guy about it. Then, we went into a clothing store. Butch ran for his life...well, he went to the Waldenbooks next door.(where we later found him engrossed in another conversation) At dinner, he even accosted our waitress, and the one from the next table and talked to them about history, I presume (I was at the other end of the table). And, on the way home he randomly began history conversations when there was a lull. I guess I thought it was interesting (mostly because I was an outsider on the situation and he wasn't my own dad where I might have been mortified).
It says in Luke 6:45 "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." It was plain as day what Butch thinks about: history, the people, and the stories of what has happened before captivate him. This makes me think inwardly about my heart, its overflow, and myself. I wonder what someone on the outskirts of my life sees...
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Side note: I lost this entry once tonight (repetitively slap oneself in the forehead). I guess I should type in Word or something like it instead of in Moveable Type. Who knew my session would expire? This Internet, I tell you...I don't know about it.
Posted by Angelina at 09:04 PM | Comments (2)